A Walk in the Park

When most people think of Parkinson’s they think of the obvious physical manifestations, the tremors and swaying you see with famous patients like Muhammed Ali or Michael J Fox. And although that certainly is a significant symptom of the disease it is much more then that as well.

For me I have slight tremors in my hands when they are bearing weight, like lifting a glass of water to my mouth, I’ll sometimes shake a bit, but other than that, I don’t sway or have resting tremors. My symptoms have been more in the area of stability and mental aspects. I have fallen a handful of times, and any kind of physical activity requires my undivided attention. I can’t for example take a walk and hold a conversation or take in the sights. I must put complete focus on my stride and the path in front of me. No autopilot for me anymore. This also manifests in my driving. I am still driving, but I realize those days are numbered. Driving requires my undivided attention. No listening to Audible books any more in the car for me.

The other impact my decreased stability has impacted is my ability to navigate uneven surfaces, like a nature trail or say a fairway on a disc golf course. A couple of my falls have been on our property, one time prompting a visit by the local EMTs to pull me out of a blackberry thicket. Due to this risk, I have lost a lot of independence to enjoy our property and need a partner to navigate. That loss of independence hurts as much if not more than the bruises.

Another physical impact is my dexterity. My hands, really my whole body just moves slower now and doing things I used to take for granted, like buttoning my shirt, can take a really long time or sometimes require assistance.

Let me touch on requiring assistance a bit. If you see me struggling with an activity, by all means offer assistance. But don’t just hop in and do it for me. I know my days are numbered where I will eventually need a lot of assistance to get through the day, so as frustrating or as painful as it may be to see me struggle to do it on my own, I may want to hold on to that shred of independence and muscle through the task. Irena and I have found our balance in this regard, and I am forever grateful for her patience with me.

From the mental aspect, the primary manifestation of Parkinson’s has been in retrieval of information from my brain. I told Irena recently, ‘I’m still in here.’ but access has slowed. This can be very frustrating for me and my loved ones as I try to remember some tidbit of information, and I can’t seem to access it. I realize this is a reality of growing older as well, the Parkinson’s is just an accelerant.

I’ll close this post with the acknowledgment that Parkinson’s manifests differently for different people. I love the saying, ‘If you’ve seen one Parkinson’s patient, you’ve seen one.’ Everyone’s on their own journey! Thank you for taking the time to learn about mine.